Everytime you say "it was such a misson" or "we missioned it", I will shoot you in the elbow.

NP: Do or Die - The Flatliners

FLATLINERS! TOMORROW! Woohoo! And Hostage Life too. They're pretty goooood. Gonna be awesome.

Ok, the goal for tonight's entry is to come up with band names at the same time as I talk about nothing. The problem is that I'm running on very few hours of sleep so I'm thinking that things might seem like a good idea right now but they won't in the morning. Almost as if I'm drunk. I'm not.

1. Take Flight

Work is dumb. I mean, it's not the worst (we've discusses this before, I know) but agh. It's frustrating sometimes. It just sucks working long hours. At least it goes by faster than school. Today I worked over an hour and a half more than I'm at school for but it felt like half the time of school. Yup, that's how dull school is. But that lady I can't stand came back today. She's the one who last week made me go back and forth from the ice cream section to the downstairs freezer to get her 8 buckets of Premium French Vanilla, made me get her 8 cartons of Tropicana Grovestand and made me carry stuff up to the front for her. Today she asked if we got a new shipment of bread in. Fucking stupid. Just buy bread from the big bread section. But no, (this is another thing) she always has to get the FRESHEST possible. Like, I can understand if you reach to the back of a shelf to get the item that expires later but this is different. When I got here that Tropican last week, she checked them all to make sure I wasn't trying to screw her over and that they weren't expiring for a long time. Like, jesus lady, I got it from downstairs in the fridge. I don't think they keep expired stuff in the FRESHEST PART OF THE STORE. Oh, so just so everyone knows incase they see her she's short, coloured, always has the same little cart (which she asks me to put her stuff in for her) and both her eyes are lazy. Or something. I don't actually get it. They both look in the opposite direction and neither of them move the slightest bit. But somehow she can see. I never know where to look. I usually look to the middle of her eyes to where her pupils would be if they were normal, but in reality I'm just looking at completely white eye. Hmmmmmm. Yeah, I dunno. Just trying to create a picture like a character profile in writer's craft.

There was this other weird guy today too. He asked for help. I told him I was helping someone else but that I'd be right back to help him. Then I went up to him after and asked him how I could help him. To paint yet another picture, he seemed like he was part of the Italian Mafia but that all he did was wash the cars or some shit, not plan drug deals or kill people or anything. Right, so back to the story. He holds two boxes of garbage bags up to my head, one on either side, and goes "you want to help me?" before pretending to smash my head in with the two boxes and go "AAAAGH!". It was weird man. Then he asked how big the bags in one of the boxes were. So I read out the measurements on the box and was like, "so...I dunno...maybe this (reached out my arms) big?". He goes"...agh....uh...let's call wife. How do I do that?" so I was like "Oh, with a phone...there's a courtesy phone at the front of the store. So I brought him to it. Then he made me dial his home number FOR him.

Point is, it never ends with these people.

2. Fire Away

And Friday...this upcoming Friday...we'll be playing our music. Tis gonna be awesome. I'm trying to work out the order that will flow the best. I think it should end with Utopia just 'cause it's probably our best song. We've been playing "What's that Lassie? You're sick of this bullshit?" 2nd last in practice but I think it belongs mor near the beginning.

(By the way, I'm just using this as a place to sort of think out loud at the moment. So if this bores you, move on to the next band name.)

And we've been doing "Hellfire" as our first song. I'm thinking now it should be the 2nd last. "Lock the Doors Kids and Roll Up the Windows!" sounds like a 2nd song that shouldn't be introduced. Chapter 14 goes well into "What's that Lassie?" and it would be a good change of pace after Lock the Doors. So now the only one that doesn't flow is "(Bonus Song)" but it doesn't really FIT anywhere so I guess it could just go in after there....hmmm....ok so then it would be

a) Action
b) Lock the Doors Kids and Roll Up the Windows!
c) Chapter 14
d) What's that Lassie? You're sick of this bullshit?
e) (Bonus Track)
f) Hellfire
g) Utopia

And then I guess if we still did "The Devil's Takin' Names" it could come before (Bonus Track). Well, phew, glad that's dealt with...

3. The Gamblers

(Keep in mind I haven't checked to see if any of these are actual bands yet).


Life's expensive. I don't think I can afford to go to Montreal again at this point. :( Which saddens me. A lot. I need to go to University at some point though. And at the moment I have $0 saved up after working for a few months. Sure I went to Montreal and I have recording stuff that has allowed me to write songs, a nice new camera and I've got a beautiful new bass named "Boom" so I don't regret anything but...point is. Need money for university.

4. Static Life

5. Thin Ice

6. Static Shock

7. Countdown

8. Bad News

9. Raised Fists (haha...so lame...)

10. Victory!

11. Ghosts

12. Dead Streets

13. The Fireflies

14. Sinking Ship (The Sinking Ships?)

15. Unfinished Business

16. Turnstiles

17. The Regrets

18. Smashed up Radios

19. Thugs with a Conscience (Some of these I at least like as song names so...)

Ok, that's all for tonight.

G'night Y'all!

Elephant Breakdown!

NP: East Jesus Nowhere - Green Day

Oh, blog, how I've neglected you still (styll in newspeak). I don't mean to. I just have nothing interesting to talk about. I work. I make music in the form of poor demos. I go to school. I watch hockey. I sleep. I eat. I poop. I...yeah you get the idea.

I feel so exhausted and worn out from life that I haven't been able to rant for the longest while. Not just in this blog but in real life too. Not a true big rant anyways. I'm not sure if that's a good thing or not. I mean, maybe it's a sign that I'm a little less negative at the moment (but I'm not even sure that's true). Or it could mean, and I think it does, that I'm just sorta tired of people acting like people. Everyone's actions are so...I don't even know...

typical/predictable/fake/boring/self-serving/self-preserving

I don't know how to make that make sense. I guess I'll give an example. I'm tired of people saying "I love you" to their friends. Ok, I mean that in a certain way. Like, if you were truly telling the friend that you care about them that's one thing. That's not what I'm talking about though. Everyone says "Looooove you" to each other and I'm not even sure what my problem with it is. For one, it seems very fake. Sometimes it comes after a fun jab at the other's expense but even then it bothers me. Shrug. I'm really not sure if I'm making much sense and me repeating how much I doubt that I make sense probably makes it make less sense.

Everything seems very formulated.

And maybe I'm too cynical but I always find deeper meanings in peoples reactions. For example, I often think people's actions/words are meant to gain something from the other person whether it be material or whether it be that they just want to bone the person.

Eh, I don't know that I'm always that cynical though. Usually, after a while, when I accuse someone of having some type of hidden agenda I turn out to be right (that can sound full of myself or something, I don't care).

And it's not as if I think NO ONE does nice things for the sake of being nice. That's not what I'm saying at all. It's more that when people are doing something to get something, it bugs me a lot and that I think I'm picking up on it more now than I used to. I also wonder if it's not that I pick up on it but that our society (or maybe just our generation) is changing.

Coming back to the "I love you" thing. People don't just do it with their good friends. That line gets tossed around so often and, to me, it seems so obviously just a way for people to bring themselves closer to other people and cut short the amount of time it takes to build a closer friendship. Or, in other cases it's used as a way to keep broken friendships together. The "I love you" thing is just an example of all of this of course.

OR, maybe I'm just letting a pet peeve bother me too much. I dunno. I don't think so.

The important thing is that I'm making sense to myself.

I'm feeling pretty inspired right now. By Green Day too. I downloaded about 1/3 of their new album that leaked. It seems like it's gonna be a hit and miss album. From the live stuff I've heard on youtube, their new music video, their new b-sides, and the 4 or 5 songs I just downloaded I really like some of it and completely dislike other parts.

The new single with the music video is pretty blah. It's so repetitive. It COULD have been a good song. And 21st Century Breakdown, the song itself and not the album, doesn't seem to make much sense and sounds like a ripoff of their last album/Queen but with shittier lyrics.

Then there's songs like "Eats Jesus Nowhere", "Restless Heart Syndrome" and "Lights Out" that I'm really liking. "21 Guns" is ok too. And what I've heard of "Murder City" on youtube I've really liked.

Anyways, I don't know why but their new music is inspiring me. Maybe because what's different about it, so far, most of the songs seem to be somewhat/a lot different from stuff they've done in the past. I wanna make awesome music. I'm going to try to write a song tomorrow evening since band practice got cancelled.

Alright, that concludes today's confusing entry. Heh, I know you're thinking it. I ranted. I know. Yay.

G'night Y'all!

Go but be home in time for dinner

NP: Collect Call - Metric

Today at work a guy passed by me and said "So you finally got THE job". I still don't know what that was about. A couple minutes later I let a silent but smelly fart out. A lady went to get milk and I'm sure she smelled it. I mean, no words were spoken but she had to have known there was a gas leak.

I really don't have anything to say. I'm fucking exhausted.

G'night Y'all!

Humming - It's the new ipod

NP - As Twere' The Mirror - Polar Bear Club

I'm sorry blog. I really am. I've neglected you for way too long. I dunno. Life's been busier than ever lately. In a good way. I mean, work isn't the greatest but it could be worse. Money is good. I've been making a lot of music too. My music isn't where I want it to be yet but people seem to be somewhat interested so that's been pretty fun. And tonight was so much fun, playing my song with the BJs.

Ok - time to move slightly away from being a young girl talking about myself.

Tomorrow night I get an award of merit for writing. I'm kinda not looking forward to it though to be honest. It's just reminding me that we didn't actually move on which I'm finding pretty depressing. I dunno, an award is pretty cool but even then I find myself disappointed that it wasn't the award of excellence. I know, that's bad but I can't help but feel that way.

Ok, so now I need to really let something out here. I've been crying every night for about the past 3 weeks lately. I find something's just missing in my life. I don't know how to fix it. I lay awake for hours trying to figure out what it is but every hour spent doing that is another hour I cry for. It's awful. And on top of that I have this feeling of worry that I'm not a strong enough person. No, not really. I made that all up. Sick, eh?

It's almost 2 am. I want to figure out how to make this entry better but I think sleep is a good idea.

BTW, I'm stealing an idea from Brendan Kelly's blog. I'm putting in labels which are made to sound like quotes from the cover of a magazine. I hope it shows up.

G'night Y'all!

Those aren't flames! Those are neon lights.

NP: Time To Go - Saint Alvia Cartel

http://badsandwichchronicles.blogspot.com/

Read the entry there called barkbarkbarkbarkbark. That's by Brendan Kelly who is a brilliant man.

Oh man, I'm so fucking excited to get songs recorded. If it for some reason doesn't pan out, well I just might have to take my life. It's just gotta happen. If all works out, our myspace will have "Chapter 14" and "What's that Lassie? You're sick of this bullshit?" up. Sure, they're not very good songs. But still...

Yeah, I've been thinking about that. Like, I dunno. They're maybe not the worst songs but they're not exactly what I'm aiming for with how I want my stuff to sound. Especially the first one, Chapter 14. I guess that's ok. This is all still kinda new and I'm not used to actually being able to put together songs and have a place to jam, record and all that. Maybe I'll get better. No one liked Bethoven at first. I don't actually know that that's true but it sounds inspirational.

I really hope that the recording ends up sounding good too 'cause I want it to be like "wow, awesome! we can keep doing this until we have plenty o' songs to play". I know the drums will sound off since it's all electronic (sorry Nathan) but...

Ok, time to move on I suppose.

List of powerful shit:

1) Water - Holy crap right? Water is amazing. It looks pretty cool. I mean, when it splashes around, or pours or whatever. It's pretty cool. No I'm not on drugs. When you walk along the beach it looks pretty. You can swim in it. It keeps you alive. If you're not feeling good it helps you feel better. Hell, I'm something like 90% water right? That's so crazy, I still don't believe it. What about all my bones and fat? The 90% thing is probably a lie where all the scientists are in on it, but whatever...water is incredible. Oh, waterfalls are great too.

2) Sleep. Similar to water in many ways. It keeps you going and makes you feel better. It also lets you dream. And most dreams are awesome (didn't mean it dirty). Dreams let you go to an awesome new place that you'd never get to experience in real life. Last night I woke up every 10 min. it felt like after dreaming that I had been shot or was being shot at. One of them was very realistic where a guy broke into my home and shot me. I died in my dream and lay there dying until I woke up. So, that wasn't too much fun. THAT BEING SAID, when I look back on it now it was kinda a cool experience because assuming (since I'm also hoping) that I'm never actually shot, I'll never really experience that. So even nightmares are awesome.

3) Peanut Butter. Nuff' said.

4) Rainbows. Some dude can tell you the scientific reasons behind rainbows. But who gives a fuck right? Who actually wants to know. Just appreciate them. They are the most naturally gay thing in the world yet even the straightest, most conservative, christian, homophobe can appreciate a good ol' fashioned rainbow.

5) Mirrors - I think we take reflections for granted. It's pretty rad that you get to see yourself and stuff by standing infront of different things like a mirror or...water...SEE WATER IS SO FUCKING AWESOME!

That's all for tonight. I'll continue that list some day in the future. When some other stuff inspires me.


G'night Y'all!

The man in the moon looks confused tonight, as if he only just realized what was going on.

NP: Alpha Kappa Fall off a Balcony - The Menzingers

Foods that do not stack well:

Jello
Marshmellows
Pasta (in bag-like packages, boxes are fine)
Frozen Peas
Milk bags
Brown Sugar bags

That's all for now.

Man, Gaslight was amazing last night. Incredible. It was so great being up there at the front. So close that Brian Fallon had no choice but to make eye contact in every song (So dreamy...heh) So close that we could see the set list that they posted by the guitarists feet so I knew which songs were coming. I was able to relax knowing that Blue Jeans & White T-shirts was gonna get played. As the show went on it just got more and more amazing. Brian Fallon looked like he was having the night of his life and I think he was. I don't think he expected such a turnout in Toronto and I definitely don't think he expected the entire venue to be shouting the lyrics back at him. At the end, when they were only going to play 1 more song he asked "Are you guys tired yet? Ready to come home" and, in unison, there was a giant "NOOOOOOOO!". He looked completely surprised at how powerful the no was and went to talk to the drummer and then the rest of the band. He came back to the mic and said "We heard someone ask for Say I won't Recognize. We weren't going to play that song on this entire tour but we want to play it tonight". That was pretty awesome. I know they save that song for special occasions. Ah, so great. And then we shook his hand after the concert. I wanted to get a picture taken but we just barely made the last bus home. Actually, we didn't and I had to take a cab but...ANYWAYS. What a night. I'll never forget it.

And now it's back to bleh life. Work tomorrow. Blah. Gotta write an essay tomorrow 'cause I've procrastinated. Bleh. Should get reading for my reading project. Meh. Still need a lot of community hours. Bleh. Bleh.

G'night Y'all!

Moderate. Evaluate. Salivate.

NP: Visiting Day - Dead to Me

Bin' a while. Do I have lots to talk about then? Oh, we'll see I suppose.

It's March Break. Yay. That means lots o' nothing. Work now (Have I mentioned yet that I work?). Band practices (hopefully more). Watchin' some hockey pahaps. Oh, and did I mention FUCKING GASLIGHT ANTHEM?! FUCK YEAH! AAAAAAAAAAAH!

Right now I'm listening to Dead to Me (yeah I guess I sorta said that already). Anyways, check em' out. Look up their myspace or something. They're very good. I'm gettin' pretty excited about making music too. Hmmmm...I dunno, maybe we'll just end up with a bunch of shitty songs but I'm having a ton of fun with it. Working out a lot better than Ma'am I am the Supervisor. And after listening to "Stand" by REM I'm convinced we've written a better song. Tomorrow I'm gonna spend some time working on my other 3 songs I've been making.

The other day I was looking out the window. The bus was pulling away from the stop and about 30 meters up the street there was an old an with a cane. He stepped right onto the street infront of the bus. Suicidal? Maybe but he knew what he wanted. The bus switched lanes and then switched back to the lane beside the sidewalk after getting around the ol' guy and pulled to a stop. It then sat there for a good, and I shit you not, 2 minutes as the man slowly (and I mean SLOWLY. Slowly as fuck) makes his way to the bus door and gets on. I can only imagine the looks he got when he stepped on. the bus didn't even pull away for another minute. I guess they had to give him time to find a seat before zooming off so he didn't shatter his fragile bones with a hard fall. Anyways, we could all learn a lesson from him. If you want something, GO AFTER IT. Make things happen for yourself.

There was another old guy at work who tried this. He basically walked in and talked to everyone in sight, including me, about anything. When he walked past the oranges he called out to his wife, "Can we get an orange?" and held up a...orange. She said no and kept walking. He called out again, "Can we get an orange?". Again, rejected. This went on about 3 or 4 times. So then he just picked up a plastic bag to put the orange in anyways. His wife noticed what was going on and yelled out "No Dave! No orange!". He didn't listen. "No orange! No Dave! No stop! We're not buying an orange". After a while of clearly trying to ignore her he obviously figured he couldn't keep it up any longer and said "Huh? Oh. No orange? Ok". He was losing. And he knew it. So, here's where it got great. He (and I have to admit that I had to watch all of this out of the corner of my eye so I'm 90% sure this is what happened) turned to the lady beside him who had already bought an orange and bought it off her or something. He handed her a paper bill and said "and you don't owe me anything". He got what he wanted too.

So we can learn something from both these old dudes. If you want something, make it happen and don't worry about how it looks to others. And weigh the pros and cons. Is the risk of getting hit by a bus worth it to not have to walk all the way to the next bus stop when you walk at a grand speed of 0.2 km/h? Do you wand the orange so badly that you're willing to pay more than it's actually worth just to get your controlling wife off your back? If so, go for it. Old men have clearly experienced a lot in their long lives and they've judged that you have to make things happen yourself. So let's learn from their experiences, skip the years of fucking up, and go get what we want.

G'night Y'all!