Good Day for the Bad Cop with a Bad Day for the Good Cop

Oh, it sure is sweet to see our awful Prime Minister go down the way he is. He's toast. Bwahahahahaha. I could open a politics blog and fill it but I'd have an even harder time getting people to read it. Even my one loyal reader Nathan, who reminds me (in a less sexual way) of Mel, wouldn't pay attention.

And so there we go. It's tough to come up with ideas to write about when your blog is sorta based off of nothing. This thing is based off of finding a perfect balance. It's all about me and yet I don't like talking about me, generally. Heh, when I was younger I was so opposite.

And then it's gotta be sorta toilet humour but in a creative and witty way. Oh, did I mention I don't like to think of myself as funny? I don't think of myself is funny. Remember though, I don't like talking about myself. Shit, my head hurts.

There has to be a balance of respect and, well, hot sexy material. A balance of ranting and imagination.

There are no rules. Except for one. That there are rules.

And that one rule, or several rules that fall under the category of one, is that if I feel disappointed in myself I have to stop writing. Often I don't forget about this blog. I was going to write last night but I couldn't think of anything. The story has been the same lately. The world's doing better. I'm not.

Maybe I need to force myself into REALLY writing.

Going back to respect and sex, forget respect. Just for an entry. Maybe a few more entries in the future. But for now, just this entry. Forget it. Respect ends...NOW.

---------------------LINE OF RESPECT---------------------

We have crossed it. Ok, so we're going to come up with a list of "sexy" women that aren't actually sexy. First I have to address two problems with what I'm about to write. I'm sure I could come up with a lot more than two but...here they are:

1. I don't care about celebrities at all. I hate them. Generally. I don't even want to know their names. Unless they have done some kind of great deed for the world (and not gone out all "look at the great charity work I did"ish about it U2 or Green Day style) or they're ACTUALLY inspiring, I just don't care about them. Infact, I pretty much just dislike rich people. I'm not jealous, I just don't like greed. Ok, I'm rambling. Point is, I generally avoid celebrities like the plague but tonight I'm going to talk about them.

2. I don't think of myself as an attractive person. No part of me thinks I could actually get these women anyways. Nothing pisses me off more than two fat, balding, scruffy, dazed, obnoxious assholes judging women as if they have any chance. Again though, I'm gonna do this anyways.

Plus, just for you gurfriend, in case you're reading, I'm quite happy with my current status.

Let the list begin:

Pamela Anderson - I think 4/5 guys will agree with me anyways. Gross. There IS such thing as too big. And there is definitely such a thing as too fake. And there is most certainly such a thing as too many STD's. So, gross.

Shakira - Just go away. You bore me.

Mariah Carey - Ok, so, you have to choose. Okay? You can't have a lotta boobs AND a lotta ass. Alright? Just choose one. And stop looking so fake.

Lindsay Lohan - This is, pretty much, the most disappointing one. You screwed up Lindsay. You used to be hot. And then, I don't really know what happened but I recently saw a picture and you're not hot anymore. I'll assume it had something to do with surgery. One of you people who read/watch shit TV can let me know what happened. Or better yet, don't. Point is, how do you go so backwards? Like, if you look hot then just kinda...don't move. Just stay hot. A beautiful 4 foot high wedding cake should stay as is, not add another 2 feet on top and collapse.

Jennifer Garner - Not that I really found you hot in the first place but, and I suppose this makes you a good actress, but after watching Juno you just seem like a total bitch.

Kate Moss - I don't really actually know who Kate Moss is. I couldn't pick her out of a crowd or anything. I just know the name and want to say something about her 'cause...I dunno... I'm NOT giving you the benefit of the doubt Kate Moss. You make my un-sexy sexy list.

Tyra Banks - Alien.

Uma Thurman - Fucking stupid name. Plus, you just...uh...I don't know. You're just not hot.

Angelina Jolie - Yeah. Whatever. I don't care if you disagree. She makes me feel asexual. So there.

Beyonce - Yeah well. See Angelina Jolie I suppose. And, just putting this out there, she has no boobs. I always hear people mention her boobs. I think that's kind of like talking about the tall midgets. In some way. I don't know. I'm sure that somehow works.

Ok, I'm disturbed. I'm really not big on celebs or judging people like this so I'm gonna end it here. But hey, you gotta try new things, right?

There you go ladies. None of you would be able to get Mike B. Yeah, pfft, he's outta your league. Keep. On. Walkin'.

G'night Y'all!