As she sailed she realized...she had nowhere to go

NP: Trouble Breathing - Alkaline Trio

I didn't like the entry I wrote. I deleted it all and I'm just leaving this.

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Waooooooooo
Waooooooooo who?
Waooooooooo
Oh. It is just a walrus.

G'night Y'all!

The gopher's hole intersected with the bunny's hole. There was a fight to the death.

NP: Die While We're Young - A Wilhelm Scream

Laughing is awesome. Have you ever stopped to think about that? It really is great. Even in a horribly dark situation, if you find a way to laugh at it somehow then it makes things better. The only time it sucks is when you're so used to finding humour in things to make them better that you start laughing out loud at inappropriate times. Yeah, oh well.

What a busy week. Ah!

Today someone, I forget who, mentioned in writer's craft that they worry about running out of time (this is big picture by the way). I said I agree. No one else felt the same way (or at least they didn't say anything and the general feeling was that everyone else felt they had lots of time). Mrs. Carter said she understood feeling that at her own age but not at ours.

Really? No one else feels that way? You don't have dreams of doing things while knowing that it's impossible to do all of them at in one lifetime?

I mean, my main goal is to one day cover hockey. But I want to write about it AND be on the radio. Right there I can't even do two things that should go hand in hand. I mean, it's done but it isn't easy. I'd also like to scout hockey players (junior players) and that's something I do as a nerdy little project (that I'm behind on this year but...). Of course, that job is reserved for people that have already been hockey players. Sigh. I'm not good at much but what I've noticed is that I'm damn good, and better than most "experts" at analyzing that sport. In the past when I've done my "nerdy scouting project" I've finished and then compared my list to the expert lists and the final rankings. Pretty damn similar the lists are. Yeah. Sigh. I'm good at it.
I'd also like to call OHL games on TV. That's not a glamourous job but I would love it.

So that's just my hockey dreams. I'd also love to make music. That's not a great life ambition, yet I'd really like to take to a stage at least once in my lifetime with music that's my own. Yeah, this isn't especially unique but I think I like music more than the average person does. I'm happiest when I'm listening to music.

I want to write a book.

I want to do something that people will remember me by. In a positive way. I want to fix something that's wrong with the world.

I want to raise at least one kid and do a good job.

I want to make a decent amount of money. I don't care about at all being rich but I want to be comfortable and not have to worry too much about getting by.

Hey, I'd love to write a TV show too but...

Yeah. And I'm going to accomplish all that? No. I won't. I haven't even learned how to appreciate every day yet. I haven't learned how to become a likable person. What if I don't learn these things until it's too late? What if I fail at all the things I want to one day do?

No one else has these fears? I find that hard to believe. I'd really like to hear from anyone who might be reading this entry.

Sorry for all the talk about me.

G'night Y'all!

Sunday School 1

NP: First Day of My Life - Bright Eyes

Welcome all you sinners. Please, take a seat. Take a seat. I'm glad to see all of you here, waiting to find out how you should live.

Well I'm going to begin at the beginning. You see, God created Earth in about 40 years (Have you ever put together a lego set? Yeah. You thought THAT was hard. Puts things in perspective). He decided that, rather than put a ton of people on Earth, he'd just make two people.

So, he made Adam and Steve. Adam and Steve didn't really feel for each other though. It would be ridiculous to assume that they'd fall for each other just because they were the only two around, right? I mean, Adam was a good looking dude but Steve wasn't really. So while Steve wanted to get in Adam's pants, the feeling was not mutual. Besides, Adam was pretty sure Steve had AIDS. ALSO, Steve was an absolute idiot. God had specifically said not to eat this one fruit but Steve just wouldn't listen. He did anyways and so God punished them by sending them to this average looking place and banishing them from the beautiful lands where God had placed them (very carefully might I add).

It got worse though. There were only girls in this new, average looking land. And none of them wore clothes. Really, Adam and Steve were pretty disappointed. And the two of them realized that if they were to ever find love they would have to find more men. Well, the naked women informed them that to make more poeple they would have to make love.

"Put WHAT, WHERE?!" cried Steve, "That's the wrong end! That's totally immoral!"

And there were further issues, such as the fact that the people they would be supposedly trying to fall in love with and build the human race with would be their very own children. But what other choice was there? So, Adam and Steve had very awkward and unpassionate sex with the beautiful naked women. It was AWFUL.

Things really propelled from there and before you know it, there were plenty of people just killing each other.

So, the point is...God has a plan. And sometimes part of that plan will consist of having you go through some pretty awful stuff (hopefully not as awful as what Adam and Steve went through) and yeah, it's pretty twisted. HOWEVER, he does have a plan. He said so. I don't know what it is yet. But I know there's a plan. SO, obey his plan. Just go along with it. Look busy. If some shady guy comes up to you and starts asking you questions, pretend you know what he's talking about and just follow God's lead. It's all part of "the plan".

G'night Y'all!

It's kinda like watching grass grow and then watching that grass get mowed

NP: Sunrise, Sunset - Bright Eyes

So, likes, I totally forgot to do a NP to start off last night's entry. So, um. Yeah. I'm pretty sure no one cares but I had to address that anyways.

Moving on...HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Some of you will know what I'm laughing at. Others will not. That's fine. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Today has some real awesome moments. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. That's not necessarily an inside joke. It might just take some people longer to figure out. And if you can't figure it out, do move on.

My Greates Wish...

My greatest wish...
is a day with Tish!
off we go to the lake
we wouldn't act, nor be too fake
she'd talk, I'd listen
her eyes would glisten
we'd hold hands
I'd let her know where she stands
in my life
she'll be my wife
I'll tell her she should never fear
why? because I'll always be here
she's my dear
she shouldn't shed a tear
but what if she decided - no more
my heart would be a giant sore
shattered -
to the floor
she slams the door
despite my fear of all of this
my greatest wish
is a day with Tish

Yeah, I'm proud of that.

Ok. We need a rant. Unfortunately it's not coming to me at the moment. Hmmmmmm. Well, I'll just do a vent then. It's similar only more angry and direct.

I get really annoyed of people being so oblivious. It's like so many people have absolutely no sense of what goes on around them. Or they're too selfish and too much of a pussy to do anything about it. There was a time when a good friend would stand up for you if you needed it. ESPECIALLY if you had stuck up for them at times. Bah. Too bad.

I dunno. I'll work on getting that rant to come to my head. Othewise I'll spew on about airline food and why men can't ask for directions. Maybe talk about nagging wives. If I was black I could talk about the differences between black and white people. I'm not black though. Just for the record. Yeah. Ok. It's time for that next line to come.

G'night Y'all!

Glow in the dark?! Radical.

It's been a few days.

I won't bore you all by talking about the play again. It was fun. It be over. We be judged n' adjudicated.

I was going to start off tonight's entry with my poem entitled "My Greates Wish..." which I'm quite proud of. Unfortunately, I left it in my Writer's Craft book so tomorrow night I suppose.

Ok, so instead we'll get to Nathan's question. Would you be capable of maintaining a relationship that lasts longer than a few weeks? f'sure. Or, it's up to you. We'll skip past the issue of whether or not you can grab a girlfriend or not. That's always a dumb issue. You kinda do or you kinda don't. There's no recipe for success. I don't think so anyways. I think you can get a girlfriend anyways (that's not like a YOUR SO FINE Nathan line. It was more like a, yeah you can get a girlfriend line. In other words don't take that too positively or negatively. I don't know if that makes sense or not). SO ANYWAYS...your question was about maintaining the relationship. Without sounding too obvious...it depends. Why? 'Cause you have to put an effort in. I'm not making any sort of direct comment towards you. I'm just saying that in a relationship both people have to make an effort, give up a little and be willing to go that extra mile to do nice things and show they care. You know, thoughtfulness. So if you're willing to do your part then yeah. On the other hand, nothing's completely one-sided. It takes two to totter yada yada yada. They other person has to show you they care and be willing to do some sacrificing. So that's why I say it depends. Are you willing to do those things? Then yeah you're capable to maintaining a relationship.

-Dr. Loooooooove

I'd like to make a special announcement:

As you all know, I'm a deeply religious man. I don't go to church as often as I should. So, I've decided to uh...make mah own church. From this moment on, Sundays at "Why, A Toast To You Fine Sir" will be "Preach entries". I'll teach you how to live that righteous life without sin. So. um. Tune in.

I had some other stuff I was gonna talk about. Some sort of short rant. I can't really remember though. Good job me.

G'night Y'all!

The Square of Life

NP: There's a Metal Head In the Parking Lot - Slapstick

Today`s entry brought t' ye in seafarin' hearty talk:

Arrr, I be somewhat obligated t' review last high tide'`s plays. So I will. Th' first one seemed pretty good. Swabbies seemed t' be really enjoyin' 't an' 't be pretty nice t' be seein'. Sure, most swabbies be jus' happy t' be in class but I be glad that thar be a fair amount o' swabbies who had fun. After th' show we got excused from class an' that began what`s sort o' like a 6 tide weekend. We also reviewed a bunch o' things we wanted t' do differently. Cool.

So we be all pumped fer th' second show. An' 't began. An' 't felt like a cemetery. I had been worried that too many swabbies would be havin' already seen 't in th' mornin'. That`s definitely what happened an' th' atmosphere be terrible. Th' first show we made some mistakes. Thar be less mistakes in th' second show. Ye can tell when somethings bad on accoun' o' o' th' performers an' when 'tis bad on accoun' o' o' th' audience. Generally I like t' be pretty hard on myself bu th' audience be beyond retarded. That`s alstarboard tho. Toosdee`s performance be a mature crowd.

Thar be some funny things. That one dude who thought he be clerewas funny. I`ll tell ye why. Durin' our practice run between shows Thad, Miss Duffy an' I be yellin' insults at th' crowd t' try t' throw them off an' get prepared. We war tryin' t' be filthy and yell ob'iously lily-livered insults. And the crowd said the exact thin's we
said when we war tryin' t' be scurvy . That either makes them Reeeeally daft or us super smart. Maybe a mix o' both? Whatere. I dasn't want t' talk about th' audience too much `cause they be jus' predictable an' th' only reason 't bothered me be that I be sorta hopin' th' insults swabbies yelled would ben more clever.

But 't be a pretty good tide thar. Th' only other thin' be that "Bitch" be a bitch. This be sort o' similar t' me last paragraph in a way. "Bitch" be purposely tryin' t' be a bitch. That dasn't really bother me. I can take that. But again, I expect more. "Bitch" did things that swabbies do when they's 10. Pretty lame stuff.

This entry be a lil` different. Generally I talk about me less (or in a less direct way) or I like t' think so anyways. Sorry about that.

By th' horkin' way! BY TH' HORKING WAY! I found th' hat. I found a scallywaggin' hat. I dasn't e'en know that 'tis all that great. But I be so happy I found 't.

Eh, that be pretty direct again. Sorry. again.

Dollhouse wasn`t that great. 't got good in th' last 15 minutes but...I think FOX horked wi' th' episode. 't`ll get better. In Joss we trust.

G'night Y'all, argh!

The birds are singing but they're terribly out of tune. Somebody throw stuff at them so they fly away.

NP: London Calling - The Clash

Tonight's entry is short. I got a big day full o' performances tomorrow so I gots ta gets mah booty sleep.

So, I'll just be addressing something quickly. They both fall under the category of "Nathan and Ashley are dumb".

1. What would I do if I were in your shoes Ashley? That's not a good question. How the hell do I answer that. No good.

2. Nathan that isn't even asking for advice.

Whatever, that idea flopped. I had a brilliant idea for tonight's blog but it'll have to wait for tomorrow evening.

G'night Y'all!

You say it's not a big deal. It is. Actually, it's kinda a REALLY HUGE DEAL! YOU HAVE NO IDEA!

NP: Time Bomb - Rancid

The bathroom at school is so unmanly. So feminine. 9 out of every 10 times I walk in either one, there's at least 1 person at the mirror. Mirros in general are unmanly. Fixing your hair in a public washroom (especially at school) is VERY unmanly. And stupid.

The funny thing is, you can find all types of people doing it. Nerds, gangster kids, very foreign kids, asians (pfft...they all look the same anyways. Why even bother fixing stuff in the mirror? I joke! I don't actually mean that), etc. etc. etc.

It's frustrating because they just take up room in what's already a small washroom. You just want to wash your hands but NO. They have to take up room looking at themselves. Oh, great God, you still have some kinks to work out with this world.

Ok, so there's this other blog I read. I don't know if I've mentioned it before. It's Brendan Kelly's blog. He's the bassist and singer for The Lawrence Arms, The Falcon and The Broadways. He also sang in Slapstick. Anyways, he's 10 times the blogger you or I could ever hope to be.

So on his blog, he responds to advice-seeking comments (If I feed off 2 comments per entry, this guy feasts). Because he's marginally famous and talented, he gets a lot of readers and a lot of interesting requests for advice. For example, a couple weeks ago someone asked him what he should do to break up his crush's marriage. BK basically got to call the guy an asshole. Did I mention that the guy said his crush and her husband had a kid too?! This dude wanted to break up a family because he thought this girl had shown slight signs years ago that they might like each other. That sounds pretty great and still, I'm not doing the story justice. Reading that blog has become a religious activity for me now.

Point is, I want to answer crazy advice. If I open up that offer, I'll only get 2 advice-seeking questions. That's pretty sad.

However, it's better than no advice-seeking questions. So ask away kids.

G'night Y'all!

And then everything blew up. Like magic you see.

NP: Ghost Stories - The Lawrence Arms

Sigh...I don't know what I'm about to write about. Probably nothing. Life sucks. Yeah, that seems to be a blog theme now. Half my family isn't really talking to each other at this very moment. Delightful.

There are positives though, aside from some shitty people. My classes are enjoyable this semester. ENJOYABLE. Yeah. Right now I'd rather be in class than anything else at all (aside from sleep). Yeah, when I'm done this entry I'll go to sleep so I can wake up and go to school. And for pretty much the first time in my life, that sounds fucking A+.

Alright, just for kicks...here are bands that I want to play like (alphabetical order 'cause I'm looking through itunes and not because I'm some loser who alphabetizes stuff):

Alkaline Trio
The Broadways
The Copyrights
Dead To Me
Dillinger Four
The Falcon
The Flatliners
The Gaslight Anthem
Green Day (Old...but duh)
Hostage Life
The Lawrence Arms
The Loved Ones
Pinhead Gunpowder
A Wilhelm Scream

Mhm. I'm not sure what the point of that was.

At some point, it being 12:08, I'll start my english homework.

Thursday. Thursday is the big performance day. Oh man. I'm not sure what to think. I get told to be proud of it and that it's good. I think me and Thad are the same in that we both can be perfectionists and we're both worried it'll flop. There's not much we can do at this point though. And on the one hand I'm really excited to see it performed. On the other hand I'm really worried it won't go well. We'll see how it goes I 'spose.

I need to get back to doing some rants. I can't think of anything to rant about though. When I think about what pisses me off these days I come up with people's names rather than my usual (and uh, oh so classic) material like brail (sp?) being useless. I don't really know how to cure that problem though. Cut cut cut.

Welp. That was all over the place.

G'night Y'all!

They sky is blue today but what's stopping it from being an entirely new colour we've never seen before tomorrow?

NP: Señor And The Queen - The Gaslight Anthem

I'm sorta getting in the habit of writing here everyday. I think. Hopefully I didn't just jinx it. This is good. I'm not sure why it's good but I think it is.

I'm starting to hate living where I live. I hate the repetitive scenery. Usually I dislike major change but I don't feel comfortable here anymore. I hate, save for a few, the people here. I like that there's always stuff going in Toronto though. I think I like Toronto but I'm just tired of Etobicoke. Right here in Etobicoke. I should have been born in Chicago. Or Vancouver. I WAS born in Montreal but maybe I should have stayed there. Maybe I was meant to be born in Jersey where there's a ferris wheel and a beach. OR...maybe everything's going just the way it's supposed to but bleh.

I want that damn hat! $60 for a hat? Can you believe that Charlie? Agh! Oh how I loved that hat and I miss it. I also miss the $25 hat except aside from it being too small. Oh bleh. That experience pretty much highlighted "life sucks" for me. I want my hat damnit!

Check this out. Yeah, I can make you all watch videos too. Rainbows. Ha. Generally I don't like putting other stuff like that in my blog. This is an exception.

Oh and I, uh...."found" this: God's Twitter. Yup. Everyone's doing it, haven't ya heard?

G'night Y'all!

The sailor sailed only six seas, feeling slightlightly disappointed

NP: Owner Operator - No Trigger

Bah. Sigh. Bleh. What a depressing year. Shit sucks. It only gets worse I'spose.

I'm gonna call this girl "Bitch". And I hate "Bitch". Everyday she, "Bitch" that is, annoys me even more. That's all I have to say about "Bitch".

Alright, so next week we're performing the Sears play twice in one day for the first time. Agh! That's insane. It also means I barely have school for 5 days. Thursday we have a performance in the morning and one in the afternoon in last period. We have Friday and Monday off thanks to a P.A. day and Family Day. On Tuesday we have our big performance that gets judged so I'm out of class all day. Heh. Pretty nice.

It's really annoying when teachers think they're just so brilliant because they're going to "prepare us for university". Then they give us impossible work 'cause they think "oh, I'll make
them scared for university and I'll get them this great work ethic". Well, no! First of all, that misrepresents university methinks. Second, we're not gonna get to university 'cause of you dumbass. Whatever, that just annoys me. I think this semester will be better class-wise.

You know that last paragraph? That was a product of writers bloc. I have no idea what to talk about. I really don't. I could use some help. I think I wrote before about how it's a lot easier to write an entry when you're not unhappy. Gah. It's sooooo true what I said. Man, I'm smart.

I dunno. Maybe I'll just run away from home with a bag somehow tied to a stick (that's not easy to do folks). I'll bring an acoustic guitar/harmonica and I'll just "find myself". Or I'll become a pokecat trainer.

Bad entry. Don't think I don't know when it doesn't turn out well.

G'night Y'all!

Plan B: We run.

NP: I Am You - Off With Their Heads

Fuck shoe shopping! Agh! Hell! Agh! So god damn frustrating!

Those buttons at crosswalks. They do nothing. Nothing. You think about it. When you press one, nothing happens immediately. And if something does, it's a coincidence and would have happened that fast regardless of whether you pressed the button or not. If the buttons did work, it would throw off the entire grid. We all know that lights are timed to change at very specific points in the day. So how would it make any sense at all for them to work?

So don't press them, ok? And tell everyone you know. Don't give in. Boycott the buttons. Somewhere is the person who designed those buttons and he's laughing at all of you fools you still press the button. There probably isn't even a wire attached to the other side.

God. If you're listening that is...I want a place to jam. Like, sooooo badly. Like, soooooooooooo badly. You have no idea God. Sooooo badly. Thanks.

Alright, tonight's entry is short. I'll try to make it longer tomorrow.

G'night Y'all!

Now what do you do? exactly - Not, Not exactly like you don't do anything exactly. But more like, what exactly do you do?

NP: Drumroll (We're All Thirsty)

Phelps is a person

Ladies and gentleman. This is what's wrong with the world. That's it. Just that and a few other things. People are absolutely retarded. I mean, completely stupid.

1. If there wasn't enough proof to say a lil' weekend MJ isn't that bad before, well there is now. The man has, count it, 14 gold medals. That's more than anyone. Ever. This guy should be the posterchild for marijuana. He clearly can breathe and compete athletically. He clearly has ambition.

2. He apologizes. Like, dude... you won 14 medals and brought your country a lot of pride. You have nothing to apologize for. Just because some people, for some unexplainable reason, dislike a recreational drug that's less dangerous than alcohol you're going to apologize? No man. Taking a few hits isn't wrong. Apologizing for your image is selling out and THAT is wrong.

Ugh. Whatever. Like, honestly who cares if marijuana is legal right? I don't think most of us actually give a shit. People who are really into weed shouldn't either. You get it cheaper as long as it's illegal right? I guess I only care 'cause the government could tax it and use the money to take care of homeless people or something. Anyways, whatever.

Before we go on:

Drumroll - P.O.S.

He just came out with a new album. From what I've heard so far it's great. Woohoo!

I could talk about life seeming to be going well (let's see how long that lasts). I could talk about my new classes. I could talk about my favourite colour (not for very long but). I don't want to talk about me though. What I want to talk about is old people. Fuck them, eh?

You know what's really weird? When you walk down the sidewalk and you pass an old person. And the old person turns sideways, stops and waits for you to pass. I have no idea what this means. Sometimes they smile while they do it and other times they frown. WHAT?! WHAT IS THIS?!

Also, and I know this has been beaten to death but I'm going to repeat it just as a way of underlining how irritating this is, it really sucks when old ladies have to go through their coin purse for 5 min. at the counter. Like, my god lady...there are people behind you. And if you don't stop we're going to be as old as you are now by the time you finish and you'll be dead. And at that point we'll never get ahead of you in line. You're effectively killing everyone who gets in line behind you.

They also smell funny.

But we love em'.

G'night Y'all!